Calm Down: Everything Doesn't Need to Be a PR in Your Life After Sports

As an athlete, were you always in pursuit of a PR (personal record)?  When you hit a PR, did you feel that incredible sense of accomplishment?  Athletes are often highly motivated to strive for personal records in sports.  It means you are the best you can possibly be right now.  Even if there are other athletes better than you, beating your personal best is still a win.  And it feels good.

The benefit of aiming for PRs in sports clearly has benefits.  It provides motivation to keep working hard, refine your technique and reach the next level, to name a few. As an athlete, that mindset of striving for a PR helped you accomplish your sport goals.  So keeping this mindset in sports retirement should benefit you in your life after sports, right?  Well, maybe not.  Let me tell you why.

Physical Challenges

First, there are physical health risks that come with continuing to push your body to its limits in sport retirement when the physical need to do so is no longer there.  It might make you feel good in the moment to PR even if you are no longer competing, but you are putting continued wear and tear on your body that can have long-term consequences.  Our bodies can’t sustain the intensive training routine of our sports indefinitely.  And you have a whole lot of life left in front of you.  Spending it dealing with injuries from overexertion and overuse does not equal a fulfilling and comfortable life after sports.

Another physical concern is delayed recovery. As the body ages, it takes longer to recover from intense physical activity. I have definitely experienced this, and definitely did not enjoy it.  As I have gotten older, I have had issues with back pain and back injuries that I received at work.  If you don’t know this about me, I worked for a long time with children with ASD and challenging behaviors, which can be a physical job.  Even as the clinical supervisor of these programs, I often needed to be hands-on with the staff I was supervising and the child they were working with.

Mental Health Struggles

The pressure to constantly perform at high levels in everything, all the time, can cause significant stress and anxiety. This can lead to mental health issues such as burnout, depression, and a decreased quality of life.

Here’s some news for you. You can have a successful career, meaningful relationships and a fulfilling life without being the best at everything all the time.  The more you try to live up to this unrealistic expectation, the more you are going to make choices and take actions that are probably not in your best interest and actually move you away from what you want.

This competitive mindset is a big part of being an athlete and an athlete identity.  Athletes who tie their identity too closely to their performance may struggle with a loss of self-worth when they are unable to achieve new records and retired athletes may struggle with this when they are not able to PR all these new parts of their life after sports. This can lead to a crisis of identity and take its toll on a former athlete.

I talk more here about why I think addressing athlete identity is the single most important and the first step a former athlete needs to take to live a fulfilling and meaningful life after sports.

Social and Emotional Impacts

Another area of life that can be negatively impacted by going 110% all the time is your relationships and social environment. The single-minded focus on achieving new records or goals can strain personal relationships. It can be difficult to be around someone who is constantly focused on a future achievement or competing against someone or something and can’t focus on the moment and the experience in front of them.  The people in your life may not want to feel like they are always in a competition or constantly have to be your cheerleader from the sidelines.

Spending virtually all of your time and energy on future achievement can detract from time spent with family and friends, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.  It can also negatively impact the relationships you have with the people that are important to you.  Also, if you are always skipping out on invites and events with people you care about, you may be missing out on opportunities that could bring you joy, fulfillment and other important relationships.

Strategies You Can Use to Move On From the PR Mindset

Now you might be saying to yourself, “why are you suggesting that I be a bump on a log just letting life pass me by?”  Well first of all, we know that’s probably not even possible for a former athlete.  After years of major time management of a busy training schedule and the rest of your life, you’re probably not used to stopping and smelling the roses.  But it is nice to do that sometimes, and without needing to be the best or fastest or most-accurate rose-smelller there ever was.

I’m not saying that former athletes shouldn’t be focused and motivated to achieve in their life after sports.  What I am saying is that operating at 110% all the time to beat your former self like you did as an athlete is not going to serve you well as a long-term mindset and strategy outside of sports. Sure, be motivated, have goals and work toward them.  But take the intensity down a few notches.

Letting go of the need to always achieve a new PR can alleviate stress and improve mental health. Embracing a more relaxed and flexible approach to life can lead to greater overall fulfillment and satisfaction.

So if your default mode in sport retirement is the 110%, everything needs to be a PR, how do you find a balance of motivation and achievement in life after sports without burning out?

Redefining Success

One of the first steps is to redefine what success means in life after sports.  Success in sports is often measured by statistics, records, and accolades. However, life beyond sports offers a broader spectrum of what success can look like and what that specifically means to you. It’s essential to redefine success in terms that resonate with your current lifestyle and aspirations. A fulfilling life is much more than achieving a PR.  Defining what is important to you, or your values, can lead to looking at success as more than a competition with yourself and others.

So spend time establishing your values.  Value-based living is the basis of many of the strategies you can use to help find balance in your life as a former athlete. You can start the process here. Figure out what you want to stand for in life.  Once you do that, living according to your values becomes your definition of success.

Acknowledge the Importance of Balance

Now that you are retired, it’s important to recognize that what was required as an athlete is no longer required now.  You can still be motivated, challenged and successful without the all or nothing level of physical and mental training you needed as an athlete.  It’s vital to acknowledge that your life now does not require you to be perfect all the time.  So ask yourself this simple but important question, “what do I need for my life right now?”  Start with that answer and go from there.

I’ll give you my answer.  For my life right now, I need time.  I need time to be present for my kids when they need me.  I need to be financially comfortable enough for my family to maintain our current lifestyle and save for college for my children, who are 14 and 16 now so it’s right around the corner.  I need time to grow The Vintage Athlete.  As a behavior analyst who has been in the field of autism a long time, over the last 5-7 years I had this mindset that I needed to have a fancy job title and be in charge of many people and services.  I needed to hit that PR in my career.  Well, I did that. I was a clinical director in a few different companies and it turns out I don’t enjoy it at all.  But the 110% part of me said I had to because I have been in the field a long time and I’m an expert and it only makes sense that I have a high ranking job in the chain of command.  When I stepped back and asked myself what I needed for my life right now, a clinical director job wasn’t it.  So I moved away from that objective.  I found a position in the field of autism that allows me to have much more freedom with my time and is financially comfortable.  It doesn’t come with a fancy title and I honestly don’t care.  Now I can bring my kids to their practices and check in with them on car rides.  I can spend time on The Vintage Athlete, which is my passion project and what I actually want to do as a career.  I can teach and practice yoga at a studio that I love and also be a student in a class there when I want to.  If I had continued to be stuck in achieving more and more PRs in jobs that brought me no joy, I wouldn’t be here right now writing this, doing what is meaningful to me.

You can be healthy, strong and physically fit without working your body to peak physical performance level that leaves you in pain and with injuries.  You can be successful in your career and receive recognition without working 80 hour weeks and competing with your co-workers instead of collaborating with them.  You can go for a run with a friend on a beautiful day without having to average a 5 minute mile.  You can allow yourself to feel emotions that may negatively impact your physical abilities that day.

Practice and Live Present Moment Awareness

Learning how to be present in the moment, in the now, accepting who you are and how you are in this moment helps keep you from getting stuck in all thoughts and rules about what you HAVE to do in the future and all the negative thoughts about NOT doing it.  Learn and practice how to stop and smell those roses, noticing their beauty and fragrance.  This practice, otherwise known as mindfulness, has been shown in studies to improve many aspects of life such as decreasing stress and anxiety, pain management, and improving focus.  I think the benefits of mindfulness are even more profound for former athletes and I talk about why in this post.

Listening to Your Body

As a retired athlete, it’s crucial to listen to your body and respect its limits. Aging naturally brings changes, and adjusting your physical activities to match your current needs and capabilities is essential. This approach helps prevent injuries and promotes long-term well-being.

As an athlete, your achievements were rooted in your physical skills. Maintaining physical health is important, but it doesn’t require the same intensity as your athletic training. Staying active through moderate exercise, like walking, swimming, yoga or hiking, can keep you healthy without the risk of burnout or injury. Or keep doing other types of movement that you love from your sports days but dial it back to a reasonable level of intensity. The goal is to enjoy movement and keep your body in good shape rather than striving for peak performance. It is critical that you adapt your fitness routine to a more self-aware and self-compassionate approach.

Remember, you can still be motivated and achieve great things without losing sight of all the other amazing things in your life.  You worked so hard to be your best at your sport.  And now it’s ok to see and do things differently because life no longer requires you to go 110% all the time.

Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself.  Be present with what is around you.  Figure out what you want to stand for in life and take actions to get it.  And chances are those actions don’t need to burn you out.  It’s time to use your strengths and assets in a way that benefits you and gives you the ability to find joy and fulfillment in all the other things that life has to offer.

Stop and smell the roses, even if they don’t smell great.  Notice that they are stinky and then move on.