Maybe you’ve heard it before - “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”. In the case of former athletes, I think this advice is particularly relevant. It’s a path to move forward and embrace a new way of life and new experiences that are, well, uncomfortable. At least at first. If you never go outside your comfort zone, you may never contact opportunities that could have a major positive impact on your life. So let’s talk about how to purposely lean into discomfort in service of finding what brings you fulfillment and joy in your post-sport life.

First, let’s identify what is comfortable for athletes:

Being an expert at their sport
Receiving recognition and accolades for high performance
A structured routine and clear guidance and expectations from coaches and trainers
Doing something you are good at in front of a crowd
This list is certainly not exhaustive. Feel free to add your own!

So now let’s look at the flip side. Here are some experiences are likely uncomfortable for both current and former athletes:

Doing something you are not good at in front of a crowd
Respecting and loving your changed body
Being mediocre, not being the best
Being a newbie at something, and potentially sucking at it
Doing a new physical activity that you may not be good at
Doing something amazing without an audience to witness it
Hanging out with non-athletes
Exercising in a way that doesn’t feel like training or hard-work
Having to manage their fitness and wellness on their own

Again, there are certainly others that you may identify for yourself or others you know.

In addition to the above, you may have had some drills and conditioning that you HATED, that resulted in discomfort and distress. But you did them anyway because it made you better at your sport. So when improving your athletic abilities is no longer the motivation, you may think “why do it if I hate it?”

Think about all the reasons you have come up with about why you avoid or won’t do these things or what could possibly happen if you do?

But what if you lean into this and do something that is uncomfortable anyway? You may be asking “why would I do that?”. It means confronting fears and doubts and potentially experiencing setbacks. Well, what if there is something very important to you and the way to get it is by doing something outside of your comfort zone. It will require you to face uncertainty and challenge yourself in a new, and maybe completely unfamiliar way.

So what if you did it anyway? What if you took a chance and did something that gives you uncomfortable thoughts and feelings or makes you tell yourself a bunch of reasons why you shouldn’t do it? Because what is on the other side may be worth it!

Hopefully by now you’re asking “how can you embrace purposely being uncomfortable?” It’s not easy for a former athlete who is used to excelling at their sport and the challenges that come with it. The idea of experiencing something unfamiliar that you may not be good at or even know how to do is not that appealing. So how do you do it anyway?

Identify the common skills or experiences

One of the first things you can do is recognize that purposely doing something uncomfortable is something you may have done as an athlete.

As a gymnast I started the sport at a young age. You do a lot of learning and growth in gymnastics when you are young. This is because when you are young, you don’t have much fear about doing crazy gymnastics tricks. I was that kid. I would pretty much try anything. I remember my coach saying, “Tara, try this crazy skill that you’ve never done before!” And I would just go for it. Sometimes I did it and sometimes I didn’t, but I would always try. It’s important to say that my coach thought I had the ability to do it in a way that I wasn’t likely to get hurt. But I didn’t know that at the time and I had no fear so I would just chuck it! I think my coaches were pretty amused by it!

I learned a lot of new skills that way. But as I got older, probably around 11 or 12, I started to understand the risk level of the skills I was doing and that I could actually get really hurt and I started to develop fear. And my pace of learning new skills slowed down significantly. The fear was my mind trying to protect me, which I appreciate. But in gymnastics if I wanted to continue to progress, I needed to try new skills anyway, even if the fear made me uncomfortable. So I did. And I continued to progress.

When you realize that you have worked through discomfort in your sport, it makes doing it outside of sports less overwhelming and uncertain and increases your motivation to lean into it anyway.

Redefine Discomfort

We as humans have this way of always striving to feel happy and positive and comfortable all the time. And we think that if we are not feeling this way as much as possible, we are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with us. Experiencing discomfort and other negative experiences is a normal part of being human. And while it doesn’t feel as good as feeling happy, it happens to all of us and if we are constantly trying to avoid feeling negative in any way, we are setting ourselves up for stress and anxiety and missing out on potential positive outcomes on the other side of discomfort.

Looking at discomfort as a negative feeling can make you feel like you're failing if you experience it. Instead, redefine discomfort as a feeling you experience when growth is happening. Embrace discomfort as an opportunity rather than a setback. View it as a signal that you are evolving as a person. When you lean into discomfort in the interest of experiencing something new, you are taking action toward a fulfilling life as a retired athlete, rather than one that is stuck in their old identity and can’t move forward.

Have a beginner’s mindset

I invite you here to close your eyes (only if you're not driving or something that requires you to see!) and try to visualize your first experiences in your sport. Maybe you were very young and started taking lessons, or maybe you just decided to go for it and try out for a team even though you didn’t have that much experience in the sport. Remember what it was like to be a clean slate. You were open to learning and experiencing because it was all new to you and you were curious about what the sport was like and how it would feel in your body. And now think about how that all worked out. If you are listening to this podcast, you were probably a high-performing athlete in that sport. You started as a beginner, not knowing anything about it or having any experience. And with that beginner mindset, you were open to new experiences and learning from others.

It served you well back then so let it serve you well now. Approach potentially uncomfortable experiences with a beginner’s mindset. Let go of all the stories you have told yourself on why it’s a bad idea and what negative things could possibly happen. Fully experience a new situation in the present moment with curiosity, and without judgment or expectation on how it will go. It’s with that child-like curiosity and beginner’s mindset, that you can work through the uncomfortable if it occurs and take full advantage of a teachable moment or growth opportunity.

Practice Mindfulness

On a related note, developing mindfulness can become a powerful tool in getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Mindfulness is a practice where you purposely focus on the present moment, without judgment. When you notice what is coming up for you - thoughts, emotions, stories, future expectations - without making judgements about them as positive or negative and acknowledging them for what they are - just fluctuations of your mind - it changes your perspective and reaction to uncomfortable moments.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination”. That’s what mindfulness can help you do. It allows you to focus on the experience/process instead of the outcome. There is benefit and value in the experience that you can miss out on if your focus is only on getting through the discomfort so you can reach the final outcome.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness and I talk about these in my blog post “The Benefits of Mindfulness for Former Athletes”. I encourage you to read that to learn how to incorporate this powerful practice into your life. You can read it here.

When you incorporate these strategies, you will find that a whole new world opens up for you!

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable: How Former Athletes Can Find Fulfillment in Sports Retirement

Navigating Body Changes After Sports: A Guide to Self-Compassion for Former Athletes

Calm Down: Everything Doesn't Need to Be a PR in Your Life After Sports